ODR Outlook

I sit in the Honolulu airport in front of the Continental check-in once again. The last memories I have of this place include many nervous and excited student missionaries with lots of luggage. This time, I am alone. I am waiting for Ronald to return from the car rental agency. My mind can almost relive those moments before departing to Saipan. I shared the excitement and anticipation. All of the advertisements for spending a year on an Island were streaming through my mind. Images of adorable students hugging and loving their teachers. There were pictures of perfect white sandy beaches and missionaries that are out for an adventure.

While I sit here and somewhat reflect on my one year as a “missionary” I don’t really compare my experience to that of those images. For me, the drudge of daily life sets in,  waking up early just as I would for any other job. The students were precious, but not more precious than any other children would be. The beaches were beautiful, but for me, they were not any better than Florida or Hawaii. I’m not trying to say that I regret my experience in any way, but I’m realizing that no matter where you are, you need to treat it as a “missionary experience”.

You see, I thought that going to a remote Island would make me a better person, and a better Christian. However, in many ways, I think I regressed. I didn’t spend as much time praying or reading my Bible as I would have liked. I thought that once on an Island, I would HAVE to depend on God for strength. But unfortunately, my proud self took over and life just got “too” busy to do all these things.

As I prepare to go again through airport security and board the plane to my new life, I want to make every moment count. I want to pray more than I did before, and really learn how to be a Christian. I want my marriage to glorify its creator and I want my children to look to God for love, guidance and everything else.

…now, if only Ronald will show up to the airport, we can get on with it!

Today was the first baby shower that I attended for my own baby. In Orlando I loved planning baby showers, and I helped plan many. So today as I arrived at this baby shower with no gift in hand, and no food to contribute it felt strange, and I was a little nervous. I know in my heart that this all will bring something beautiful and exciting that will change my life forever though. Sarah Jane planned a really fun shower with games and everyone brought food. The food was delicious, I must say! The whole morning was a treat, but my favorite parts were both the tea and the company. This is what makes any day great in my opinion. Since we haven’t found out the gender of our baby yet, most of our gifts were “gender neutral” and I apologize for that, but we’ll find out soon. Here are a few pictures that will give you an idea of what a fun shower this was! Thanks SJ for such a great time, love you!

Measuring the baby belly at only 21 weeks.

Three out of five mornings a week I ride with the school principal to work. Since we live in the same building, it is more convenient to ride with him, than have Ronald take me to school. Most mornings we have good conversations about what food we miss the most from the states. Sometimes we poke fun at typical Saipan lifestyle, because its an easy target. Often we discuss which places in the world we’d like to live. Our morning conversations are always nice, but this morning it was different than the usual. This morning we started talking about all the things we’d like to complain about but know we shouldn’t. Around the world there is so much suffering, and once in a while we should stop and thank God for our blessings. I told him that even living here as made me thankful for the things I had at home in the States. But as I thought that thought, it made me realize that in Saipan, I always dwell on what I don’t have, but I really do have life good. I am going to try to make today a day to focus on the blessings, instead of the bad things.